Life

Adulthood seems to be above my skill level
You’re entitled to your wrong opinion.
We don't know for sure that the world doesn't revolve around me.
Whoever has my voodoo doll, keep it up, I like it rough.
If I’m going to hell, I plan to get there my way.
I was destined for greatness but my alarm didn't go off.
“Just be yourself.”
Worst fucking advice I ever got.
I didn’t say I was mature, I said I was old
My face gets puffy and swollen when I cry because obviously Im allergic to emotion.
Having a little break from crippling anxiety to focus on uncontrollable rage today. Mixing it up a bit. Keeping it fresh for myself.
I may not react when someone kicks me when I’m down but I also don’t forget.
They call it damaged.

I call it otherwise educated.
[Message from stranger]

DM: What state do you live in?

Me: Denial.
I was not made to be subtle...
My superpower is fucking shit up without even trying.
Make people think you've been chopping onions by thinking about your life.
I was born. Then it was all downhill from there.
Sometimes I forget I was raised by wolves.
I may not be perfect but at least I’m humble and ruggedly handsome
Happy to report my life has been upgraded from “Disaster Zone” to “Recovery Disaster Zone”.
Just relax, you're definitely going to fail. Your real task is to minimize the number of witnesses.
If Facebook has taught me anything it’s that there is a reason we lose touch with people
I know people say they don’t like being an adult, but like when I say it I really, really mean it
I’ve made most of my major life decisions using a magic 8-ball and it shows
Remember being a kid and thinking grownups had their shit together and knew what they were doing? LMFAO
For once I’d like to get kicked INTO a bar
It's a beer can, not a beer can't.