Relationships

All my shots are up to date
Me flirting
“I love you A LOT!”, she said threateningly.
You make me happy- i can tell you’re gonna break my heart
If she's 5'4 or under she'll mess you up. It's all the pent up frustration from never being able to reach anything on the top shelf.
Being a parent is sometimes about spending £20 on ice creams and not getting an ice cream.
She's got those eyes, you know the dangerously inviting ones

The kind you never forget
You look like Trouble.
I've got time.
Careful, she’s the kind of girl you don’t forget.
Husband rings reception of hotel “send someone up here now! My wife is threatening to jump out the window”
Reception “sir if this is a personal matter, I can’t help you”
Husband “well I can’t get the window open so it is a maintenance issue”
Wife: I’m going to donate all my spare clothes to the starving

Husband: Anyone who fits into your clothes ain’t starving