I’ll tear my heart to pieces
filling all the holes in yours.
Try ghosting me. You’ll find out real quick why people don’t like to get haunted.
My heart has a new crack. I’ll get used to it. I always do. I’m just tired of having to.
I’ll pay for your therapy after we break up.

-Me flirting.
I wonder if your bad side will get along with mine.
Oh my God, look at that face
You look like my next mistake
The last time I was someone’s type, I was donating blood.
I’m gonna fuck you up with my love
You know you're hot. I only date women who aren't sure.
What base is it when they tell you:

“I’m not ashamed of you, I’m ashamed of myself for being seen with you.”
I hate leftovers or, as I like to call them, sloppy seconds.
All my shots are up to date
Me flirting
“I love you A LOT!”, she said threateningly.
You make me happy- i can tell you’re gonna break my heart
If she's 5'4 or under she'll mess you up. It's all the pent up frustration from never being able to reach anything on the top shelf.
Being a parent is sometimes about spending £20 on ice creams and not getting an ice cream.
She's got those eyes, you know the dangerously inviting ones

The kind you never forget
You look like Trouble.
I've got time.
Careful, she’s the kind of girl you don’t forget.
Husband rings reception of hotel “send someone up here now! My wife is threatening to jump out the window”
Reception “sir if this is a personal matter, I can’t help you”
Husband “well I can’t get the window open so it is a maintenance issue”
Wife: I’m going to donate all my spare clothes to the starving

Husband: Anyone who fits into your clothes ain’t starving