Alcohol

Don't be silly. Everyone wants to see you dance.

~ Tequila
You can learn a lot about what went on at my house over the weekend by following the wine splatter pattern.
I have been thrown out of a bar for “dangerous behavior.” Do I regret it? No. Do I remember what said “dangerous behavior” was? Also no.
It’s not drinking alone when you have multiple personalities
The guy that drives the recycling truck just told me I have a drinking problem
Let me be the reason you're drinking